The Power of My Lyrical Words

Purpose

2011-04-05T04:21:00.003+08:00

Salam one and all!

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim
"Do not weaken and do not grieve, and you will be superior if you are [true] believers."
Surah al 'Imran, 3:139

For the past few days. I've been blessed with various opportunities to reflect on my life once again. I believe that you can never stop reflecting because your life is not clear and will always be a tainted glass until you make the effort to see your own true reflection. Being philosophical aside, I've got the chance to once again think about what has happened with my life thus far. What have I achieved? What is going to happen? What am I to expect in the future based on my present situation?. But as I think back, I realised that I asked too many questions. My life has been good, alhamdulillah. I'm still breathing, at the very least and hence the opportunity for me to update my blog, which might have taken a good 20 mins of revision and doing work, but it's worth it.

Earlier in the night, I took out my envelope which was given to me by my iHeartbeat leaders and as instructed by co-leader, Azie, I opened up the piece of paper which said 'Week 1'. While I did not expect anything much from the pieces given to me, I was pleasantly surprised by the words in that particular piece of paper which said:

'If you make intense supplication and the timing of the answer is delayed, do not despair of it. His reply to you is guaranteed; but in the way He chooses, not the way you choose, and at the moment He desires, not the moment you desire.
-Ibn Ata'Allah

I do not know who Ibn Ata'Allah is so I went to do a little research on him. Found out that he was the third sheikh of the Shadhilli Sufi Order and was responsible for organising and systemizing certain Sufi manuals. Masya Allah! I'm reading words from a real Sufi?! Excitement aside, I was much interested on the message given on that particular piece of paper which was very relevant to my life currently. So, thank you iHeartbeat leaders for doing this and I look forward to reading the rest of the quotes leading up to our expedition on June.

Back to the topic on how the message is related to my life currently. Like I've said above, I asked lots of questions and most of my questions are directed in a manner that demands answers. Just for amusement, I asked questions like,"How am I supposed to study for this particular topic of Bio?" or "Would it be a good idea to skip this exams?" And for every question I asked about my life, I kind of like wanted a certain answer. What I'm supposed to know is that, WHO AM I? Here I am, a human being not even fulfilling my required prayers five times per day every single day and I demanded answers from my very Creator who could have 'slapped' me with severe punishments given the questions that I asked of Him. What I do learn, however, based on what knowledge I've been given these past few days and events happening which gave me the experience I needed was PATIENCE. Be patient with what you have struggled and worked towards, for the results which you asked for is only guaranteed by Him, given by Him and anytime He wishes. Exams, life, confusions, problems. I have to leave it to Him. And like a good friend reminded me just now,"We are planners. He is the Executioner."

Wallahualam.

Fulfill

2011-02-22T02:16:00.000+08:00

Salam!

I've not updated this space for the longest time. And rightly so, since many other priorities in life start blooming out like mushrooms after the rain, this blog has received the littlest of attention. But, with recess week here, things slowing down a little for me to catch my breath on this suffocating journey they call life, I think updating space here is not that wrong after all-I feel the need to though, after what I've learnt from IS today.

As usual, like during FOC period, while going through this journey with my OE peeps, I'm blessed to be surrounded by people who are religiously knowledgeable and probably people who have the same thoughts and opinions as me. Being perhaps more religiously knowledgeable than I am, I therefore have the chance to learn from these people, pick up their pointers and thoughts and transcribe them and translate them into valuable lessons applicable in my life and what I'm going through. As the Malay saying goes,"Masuk kandang kambing mengembek, masuk kandang singa mengaum.", being around them keeps my mind going, always thinking, always reflecting, always learning. Today, I learnt many things but I'm going to highlight two which probably I remembered most.

1) Niat
Perhaps the basis of our expedition and the principle to stay true to even as we go about our daily lives. Many times in our lives, we question ourselves. What is the purpose of this? What is the purpose of that? What is my niat when I do this? What is my niat when I tell this to someone? Even if we're too busy to constantly think about it, our niat comes into the picture at least 5 times per day as we bring ourselves closer to Allah. I have my supporters as well as my critics when it comes to why I'm doing whatever I'm doing in my daily life. But, whatever it is, whether people know or not, whether people like it or not, I try my best to purify my niat and go on with my daily life for mardhatillah i.e. for the pleasure of Allah.

2)"First, fulfill the rights that people have over you and the responsibilities that you have over others"
This is perhaps the highlight of the day because it struck me so deep. I usually have not many regrets but missing Ustaz Usama Canon's ceramahs has got to be a regret that will be in my mind for a long time. I have heard about this Ustaz giving lessons on dating, relationships and so on and so forth. And I wanted to at least sit down in one of his ceramahs. Unfortunately, time does not permit and I missed that chance. However, again, OE peeps give me their food for thought and this particular phrase struck me the most. Many times in our lives, we want to be happy. We strive to make others happy and ultimately, we too want to embrace life happily and in a fulfilled manner. However, many times too, we do not know when to differentiate which to fulfill first and which to pay attention to first. I have to remind myself on this one because I too am a guilty of such crime.

The essence of it all: LOVE. Because if there is no love, nothing is pure, nothing much can be fulfilled.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "You will not believe as long as you do not love one another." - Sahih Muslim, Hadith 19

When life gives you lemons.......

2011-01-29T04:12:00.000+08:00

Salam

It has been quite a while since I updated this space and of all timings, I did not know why I chose to update now. Maybe waking up suddenly after sleeiping for two hours or so had something to do with it. But regardless, I could not get these eyes closed and I had to do something useful. Many would call this a waste of time but I believed in the power of my lyrical words, no pun intended.

Besides, I have some stuff to talk about. Recently, I have been ~~downloading~~ watching lots of episodes from one of my most favourite TV shows, Two and A Half Men. And I did rewatch a few of the past episodes. Whilst the show seems like episodes of senseless portrayal of the weakness of men and many sexual innuendo that goes along with it, I love many of the different quotes which are brought up as well as the humour which is present in every single line the cast speaks. Perhaps one of the best quotes I heard is,"When life gives me lemons, I make lemonade. When life gives you lemon, you just squeeze everything out." This being Charlie's reference as to how Alan handles women and relationships. I would try to breakdown what he said and put it into the context of life itself.

Lemonade

Sweet, enjoyable, branded, effortless. Some people are blessed with life whereby cruising life's highway is like zooming in a Bugatti Veyron. Positivism at it's best because if they are plants, then it's photosynthesis all year around, not knowing that they might suffer from 'overnutrition', if there's such a word. Life is always colourful and the rainbow is just a sma, pretty decoration in the bright blue sky

Squeezed-out lemon

Detailed, aggressive, thoughtful, frustrating. Not everyone are born equal, some are more equal than another, in this case, some feelings that surfaced in the human heart are thought through and carefully planned out. Life is life the way it is.

I can never decide which one I belong to. But if I were to complete the sentence stated at the title of my blog

...........I admire them...........

"They handle theirs, you handle yours. I got mine..."(Lil' Wayne, 2009)

What if....?

2011-01-02T04:55:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirahmanirrahim

Salam everyone!

After looking through facebook news feeds and twitter updates, I can only ask one thing. What are my reflections based on 2010 which had just passed and what are my resolutions for 2011? I see many of my beloved friends who posted their expectations, their reflections, their thoughts and their opinions on the new year. Whilst some may be beautiful, others claim that they have a bad year and that 2011 is just another year, it's just another day in our lives. Whatever it is, it is nice to see lots of opinions and thoughts being circulated around, freedom to express how exactly one feels about something is, in my opinion, a very good thing. It helps you get things off your chest, it helps clear your mind and most importantly, it brings the level of trust between two individuals higher, a clear indication that people just want to get along well with other people.

Then you may ask, why do I not express myself? Why don't I tell others what I feel about the year that had just passed and about the upcoming year? Frankly, I do not know. Haha. But what I do know that the last few days of 2010 and the first day of 2011 has left me with nothing but questions. But the biggest question yet, which many in the past has failed to answer starts with the phrase,"What if...?"

Rewinding back to the past, what if.....

Maradona hadn't scored the Hand of God goal? England would probably go on the Semi-Finals of the 1986 World Cup. Win it if they are lucky enough. And they wouldn't be so affected by how unfair life was to them hence improving the relationship between the two nations. On another hand, Maradona would have nothave been made iconic for this. He probably would have been a less of a dork and go straight into management right after he retired without having to endure the period of time ballooning and resorting to drugs. We never know, but probably he would.

Another example: What if.....

the late Michael Jackson had stayed this way? Would he be the 'King of Pop' that he was claimed to be? Would he go on to move hearts and make ladies faint and cry at the very sight of him? Would he be honoured and treated the way he was before he passed on? Would his music live on even up till today and probably to generations after this? Would he be in the situation he was in before he passed on? He probably would, but we never know.

Yes, the big question: What if. Many times in our lives, we make decisions, we perform certain tasks and we said things which resulted us in asking ourselves this question at the end of the day. Regrets? Probably, but I would like to define that as building ourselves up in the sense that we ask ourselves what we could have done better. In other words, it is not as negative as many people portray it to be. We ask ourselves what we could have changed and what we could improve on so that when we're presented another of the same kind of problem in the future, we would probably do it differently.

However, one thing is for certain. All the questions we ask, including this big 'what if' question wouldn't have come into the picture if not for the role of fate and destiny in a human's life. As stated in the Quran,

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
“With Him are the keys of the invisible. None but He knows them. And He knows what is in the land and the sea. Not a leaf falls, but he knows it, not a grain amid the darkness of the earth, nor anything green or withered but is recorded in a clear Book”. (Surah al-An’am, 6:59)

That being shown, it probably is part of one's fate and one's destiny that something in their lives happened. Maradona's motor neurons could have fired less and he wouldn't raise his hand that high enough to hit the ball into the net. The late Michael Jackson could have not did whatever he did and probably not achieve what he did achieve. It is a tricky issue, this fate and destiny thing. Mankind has for decades, question this idea. If not there probably wouldn't be Atheists and Scientologists present in this modern world.

As a humble servant of Allah, I can only submit myself to Him and what He has in store for me. As much as I've always been very positive in my life, I know that the good comes from Him and that the bad comes from my own wrongdoings. What if. Probably. Fate. Destiny. You open my eyes.

On another note, the wedding preparations below my house are finally completed. Drapes of gold, chandelier, roses, red carpet. I wish the bride or groom the happiness that she and he deserves because just by seeing such preparation is making me very happy already. Wallahualam.

The Fight.

2010-12-26T17:17:00.001+08:00

Assalammualaikum

Be it avoiding a rugby tackle.....

...... or studying.......

......doing the impossible.....

.......and making them possible....

...........love..........

........or war........

Every single thing in life seems to be a fight. A fight for recognition. A fight for redemption. A fight for fun. A fight for the nation. Ever since the first human being, Prophet Adam AS walked this Earth, it had always been that way and it will continue to be that way till nothing is left except for Him.

But perhaps what God tell us to do is not to embrace the fight to the point of contempt. It is not about winning and showing who the best is. It is not about stamping your authority and belittling the less strong. It is all about the lessons learnt and the effort put in while going through the fight.

What will your fight be?

Allahualam.....

Just a Dream

2010-12-02T17:06:00.000+08:00

Ever had dreams? Wonderful ones that when you wake up, you just don't want to go back and sleep. I've had dreams like that and it's safe to say that, I woke up normally. =)

Sometimes, all you ask for is to have a dream-like reality. Unfortunately, dreams can never be mixed with reality so much. The consequences of it will be quite drastic for some.

Organised Thoughts.

2010-10-28T03:44:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, overnighting is much needed. The sheer tranquility. The cold, inviting air. The dark clouds. The bright stars and moon. A perfect setting for a horror movie. But not for this guy right here. I just love night time because I can just think more rationally than during the day which is already packed with activities. I can do a bit of work. I can search for inspiration. I can organise my thoughts.

Suppressed by all my childish fears....

It has been one month since I updated my blog. Within that time frame, a lot had happened. Some good, some bad. Some happy, some sad. I'm just wondering if there's a formula/machine somewhere out there that is able to freeze time and let me have a breather. It is moving quite fast and I can be a bit breathless at times.

Hey, it's plain to see.....

If there's one thing I learnt from this past month is to not assume and to not be bothered too much about certain little things. I can never bring myself to be bothered too much. A lot of energy wasted just because a lot of brain activity is focused on unnecessary things. Another thing I probably would have learned this past month is to always be patient. I mean, I have always been patient. Just need to put in extra effort to be more patient and see things in a different light.

Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday...

Please give me the motivation I need, dear God! =/ I really need them now.

It's still the longest yard...

Life has to go on................

Innocence

2010-09-29T12:47:00.000+08:00

Life will always get more complex and more demanding as you grow older. Looking at this photo, I remembered my JC days very well. Full of fun, full of nonsense. But most importantly, full of innocence. I remembered the drama that occurred before I managed to get a service award for my performance in rugby and thus this class photo. It was somewhat funny and memorable. I can't never forget who I was, where I came from and when are the memorable times in my life. But then again, they are all history and I live my life for the future right now. I've closed all these in my closet of memories.

Purpose

2010-09-03T05:20:00.002+08:00

Just when you thought that you're 'bout to feel worst
You think about life, your existence and your purpose
First, is not what you have in mind
It's not about the quantity but the quality of time

I was supposed to wake up at 2.45am. To just keep in touch with my inner self.(read: Raffles Place incident, hehe, don't start teasing me already, love!) But instead of that happening, I slept and woke up around 1am instead. I had a dream before that and it was a bizarre dream which made no sense at all. I even managed to say,"Astaghfirullahalazim!" when I woke up, which is hardly one of my common responses when I wake up every morning. Nevertheless, yes, I woke up and saw a little message from Fauzy, to give him a call. Half of my tired body wanted to just slump myself on the bed and wake up to the proper timing. But the other half seemed to be urging me to give him a call. Not wanting to succumb to Devil's whisperings, I picked myself up and called him. It was one of those calls where I talked a lot. Haha. I told my Mum that I'm secretly a psychologist/love doctor. I only revealed these secret occupations of mine when I needed to. Haha. Jokes aside, yes, we talked for a good 1 hour plus and as usual, I talked a lot. Haha. But I really hope that he could keep his head up. I mean, it's hard to believe, but I do feel that everyone deserves their own happiness. It may never occur to you how sad one can be until they voice out to you every single thing. So yeah, I guessed my time was well spent, in the sense that I hope I did offer some calming words and some thoughtful insights which would somehow help him in one way or another, Insya Allah. Like I said, I just hope he got he happiness that he deserved, because everyone deserves happiness of some right.

Following that, I went to do Qiam proper. It was my first and there wasn't any guide book on how to but I guessed I did okay. Just did what I think I should and I really felt peaceful talking to Him. =) Am really happy and syukur with whatever blessings He has offered me. Will continue to improve myself at a consistent and constant rate.

Which brings me to my entry for today. Purpose. Many times during my teenage life(Note: I'm not that old!), I always questioned my purpose in life. That I have sudden visions and thoughts didn't help either. But as I grew older, what matters most is not what are the purposes of life but how to achieve them. I would dare say that there's many purposes of one's existence. Perhaps the main one is to live his/her life for Allah but following that, there's so many responsibilities and commitments which he/she has the potential to get himself/herself into. As such, you live your life for Allah, by His commands and through his guidance, I guessed all your other purposes will be revealed and Insya Allah, you can fulfil them, one by one. I guessed me waking up earlier just now, had a purpose. Me deciding to wake up had a purpose. Me going to Choa Chu Kang for Tarawih had a purpose. Everything had a purpose. A new day, many new purposes.=) Let's all search for these purposes, Insya Allah.

Our together-ness.... There is a purpose...
Let's find out...... Together... <3 <3 <3

What A Teacher Must Learn

2010-08-31T07:10:00.002+08:00

It's ain't easy as A, B, Cs
When I had to narrate these life stories
Some lessons are just not meant to be taught
No one can relate, this's my war I fought

An advanced Happy Teachers' Day to all educators out there and those striving to be one. I guess that applies to me too. In my perspective, everyone is a teacher in their own right because they'll never know who they have inspired in their lives. I have many teachers in my life, both older or younger than me. I was and currently am inspired by many as well and words are never enough for me to show my gratitude towards them. While I sit down and get awed by people around me, I forgot the very teacher inside me. No, not the title given to me when I pen down my signature on those cold, hard paper. I'm talking about me instilling my own valuable lessons in myself based on what I've gone through in my life. I am perhaps my most important teacher as I am a student and no one can relate to what I've taught myself all these years.

Perhaps the very lesson I'm trying to teach myself is to not let myself get stepped on anymore. Obviously, this lesson is not effective, as proven from the past few years. In fact, up till date, I still have people stepping and jumping on me like I'm a human trampoline, just for their sick pleasures. I may have voiced this out many times already(read: MANY conversations with Bestie), but I think I've had had enough of this crap. Enough of people not giving me the due respect in exchange for the respect I've given them. Enough of cold, hard treament in exchange for the royal treatment I've given them. Enough of them saying what they want in exchange for the praises and beautiful adjectives I garland them with. And enough of people throwing tantrum at me like as if I'm some rock.

This entry is not meant to be antagonistic. Nor does it mean to vent out whatever frustrations I have. In fact, it's the very opposite because as I'm typing I couldn't help containing the helplessness I feel from deep inside. Is it too hard to just ask for a simple nice treatment? Given, I may not be the nicest person in the world but I have definitely treated some people right. I think for that, I do deserve if not a lot, perhaps a bit of the nice-ness that they have, if they have any.

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back.....

Greener

2010-08-29T00:47:00.000+08:00

You know the sayin', the grass greener on the other side
Yours will remain brown till you gon' try
All the sighs ain't gonna answer why
If my tears are the solution, then Imma cry

Bestie said something which practically everyone said before. Relating to his enthusiasm to start school, he said that the grass is always greener on the other side, that is, because he's lazing around at home doing nothing, he is excited to start school and I share his sentiments regarding this issue. In fact, I went on to add that when I start school in a weeks plus time, I might feel so sian in the first few days that I wish that I'm in my position right now. So, I guess, like I said in my 2nd entry, I better start appreciating certain things in life and yes, I'm going to appreciate the position that I'm in now before I start school later on.

But I'm the kind of person who thinks deeply about certain stuff and I begin questioning again during the long bus ride home. Is the grass necessarily greener on the other side? In the first place, I'm no artist therefore I can never tell the different shades of green. I would love to think that the grass in one's life will always remain green, depending on what shade you want to view it as. However, it is what you do to the grass that matters most. You can choose to nurture it or you can just leave it to decompose. But I guess, the very last thing that you want is to peek at the patch of grass next to yours and begin comparing which shade you prefer. Be happy with your own shade.

I only dream of you
My beautiful........
You........

Thank you <3

The Search

2010-08-24T10:41:00.001+08:00

"Cari, cari, carilah. Pasangan hidup betul-betul oh kawan.
Bahgia berseri. Rumahtangga akan harmoni..."

The morning started very well indeed. After sahur, it was just me relaxing, playing games and then going online. Love told me she was listening to songs from Hijjaz and yeah, being the busybody that I am, I also went to listen to songs from one of my favourite nasyid groups, Rabbani. And perhaps one of the most catchy Rabbani songs is the one with the chorus as mentioned above. Ironically, and I don't mean anything, this song was introduced to me by one of my aunties, who is having problems my uncle, once my 'favourite uncle'. Long story, sighs. But nevertheless, she gave me a good song to listen to and to ponder upon. Years back, the song probably didn't make any sense to me. What would appeal to me is the catchy beat and the nice voice of the lead singer(he passed away already =/ May Allah bless his soul.) But now, as I'm growing up, not fully grown though, the song is still catchy and nice but the meaning of it all is somewhat...priceless. The moral value behind the song is to not judge your partner, at all. And to ensure that above all, he/she is the right one for you, religiously sound and true to you.

The search is over, I've put down my glasses
No more insecure, no need for no classes
I don't need to look far, coz you appeared right before me
We wasted no time, creating a beautiful story.....

Life

2010-08-22T22:03:00.000+08:00

Life has been painstakingly mundane the past few days. With the exception of the short but sweet meet up with love on Saturday, my nephews coming over to entertain me over the weekend and the random breaking fast sessions with different groups of friends, I've been pretty occupied with waking up late almost everyday and then heading over to tuition. Today was no different either. All will change next month onwards as I embrace busy school life and worry about studying over a very packed semester. I guess that's the nature of human beings, never contented with the way life is going for them So I guess I'm going to take this supposedly mundane, free time to appreciate certain things in my life.

They say love can move mountains, guess there'll be Earthquakes
But I do not move just for motion's sake
That queer shake, those chills you send down my spine
I guess I move mountains every single time

You can never voice out how blessed you are. I guess I can only do that when I'm having my therapeutic sessions with Him. What I can voice out, however, is my failure to be thankful to Him for blessing me with what I'm having right now. Hell, I had that problem even when I was boy growing up to be a man. I sure hope I can find that realization somewhere, somehow.

When you cry, I'll wipe away all of your tears
When you scream, I'll fight away all of your fears
I'll hold your hands through all the years
And you'll still have all...... Of me...... <3 <3 <3

First post

2010-08-20T03:10:00.000+08:00

The first post is considered to always be the hardest
More or less, this was supposed to be the flawless
Wreck my brain, my mind up and think hard
What to write, should I use grey matter or red heart?

I never been the type to look 'fore I leap
Stand 'fore I sit and lie for I sleep
So just gotta make this one simple
I really miss her-yes the one with a dimple...